Embracing the Power of Chosen Family
No longer do I tolerate unacceptable behavior from people in my life. Whose brilliant idea was it to make us believe we must accept mistreatment from “blood family” or even a stranger passing by on the street? It blows my mind that we are expected to endure shitty behavior from anyone who feels entitled to dish it out.
For me, family functions stopped being occasions of anticipation and turned into experiences of annoyance. Instead of being sources of joy and connection, these events felt more like judgmental surveys or competitive arenas, where our lives were constantly compared to each other.
Amidst a few family members who displayed genuine compassion, the relentless judgment and scrutiny from the majority proved utterly draining. When did it suddenly become acceptable to tear people apart based on their past mistakes, their choice of partners, or the standards they uphold? It became painfully clear to me that those who were quick to judge had their own deep-seated issues that needed addressing.
When I recognized this behavior, I questioned why I was trying so hard to gain their approval or even attend a family gathering at all. It seemed foolish. I would smile, act like I enjoyed being there and all the while knowing deep down that they harbored animosity towards me. For the longest time, I held onto the belief that blood family meant something significant. I thought it was an unspoken code that meant having people who would always have my back. Unfortunately, reality proved to be far from the truth. Those people were the first to stab me as deeply as they could when the time came to strike.
A mere family disagreement had the power to unleash a tsunami of deep-seated hatred directed straight at me. It left me questioning why they even bothered to pretend to care about me when, in reality, they never did. Those disagreements became the catalyst for the cold, brutal truth I had sensed all along—I am genuinely despised. I foolishly chose to ignore this truth in the name of our blood ties, but not anymore.
I have firmly distanced myself from such toxic treatment. It is neither needed nor wanted in my life. Instead, I choose to surround myself with individuals who uplift me, celebrate my achievements, and offer comfort during moments of failure without holding them against me. These are the people who truly matter to me. I no longer need to second-guess my worth or question their love for me because their unwavering support speaks volumes. That is MY family.
The term “blood family” has lost its significance, reduced to a mere label representing shared DNA. My real family consists of those who stand up for what is right without tearing others down, who cheer for me even in my absence. They see my worth and never treat me as if I don’t matter because I absolutely do.
We may not share a drop of DNA, but their presence is what truly matters. Don’t settle for anything less.
